F.E.A.R
Everyone has fears but confident people know that they have to act despite their fears.
Fears can be minimized if you put them in proper context and move ahead. When you face your fears, you develop resilience and confidence in different facets of life.
For most people, it is their fear that holds them back from being confident than any other factor. The majority of the people are held back by their fear of failure. This fear paralyses most into inaction which, once again targets an individual’s confidence. It restricts you to your comfort zone and makes you avoid taking risks. In your lack of self-confidence, you are more likely to undermine yourself and assume that everyone else will judge you or already knows what you know.
No one likes to fail, but how different people handle fear varies. For instance, confident people never let the idea of failure overpower their idea of success. They don’t let their fear overcome their confidence or belief in their ability to find a solution.
Confident people will tell you that the trick to conquering your fear is by facing it quickly without allowing yourself too much time to become afraid in the first place. Interestingly, anyone who faces fear with confidence, actually makes it diminish.
The more confident you grow, the fewer fears you have remaining. But if you back away from them, they keep growing until they hold the power to hold you back in countless ways. When you discipline yourself against your fear, proceed cautiously, learn from past mistakes/experiences, use a growth mindset and rally a support system your dread of that situation fades gradually.
F.E.A.R is just your body speaking to you. It is like your bodies alarm system alerting you that there is POTENTIAL for pain or even death so that you will pay attention and PROCEED CAREFULLY.
Fear can be either a tool or a weapon depending on how you use it. If you acknowledge it right away and ask what it is trying to warn you about and explore how to proceed safely it is then a tool. When you ignore it one of two things will happen: 1) you continue forward recklessly and put yourself in a bad situation, or 2) you let it rule you into doing nothing and remain stagnant or in a state of anxiousness.
One common example of where you need confidence but fear holds people down is that of speaking in public. However, research in this field shows that regardless of how scared a person may be of public speaking, if they are made to regularly face a group and speak in front of it, they will eventually lose this fear.
Once again, facing and putting your fears in context is easier said than done. The best approach to do so confidently is by taking small steps. Confront your concerns in small doses which makes them easier to overcome.
If you lack the confidence of talking to strangers, then simply start off by making eye contact. Gradually move up the confidence ladder by adding in a greeting and then perhaps asking a question. Keep adding on until you’re confident enough to have a conversation.
As your fears subside, you’ll see your confidence grow. This doesn’t make confidence an absence of fear but rather mastery over it.
The higher your confidence level, the more willing you’ll be to come out of your shell and take chances. You’ll be less likely to be affected by setbacks (some refer to as failure) and more committed to achieving your goals.
If your fears stem from what others think of you, you’ll need to start looking for approval from within. It’s only when you are happy with who you are that you’ll feel confident about what you do.
As a life coach, one of the biggest hurdles I work on with clients is learning to understand their emotions, manage fear, and learn how to act from their highest self. If you are struggling to move forward in the way you want your life to be let's work together to help you utilize fear in a productive way and get the life you deserve!